****WARNING THIS HAS LOTS OF SWEAR WORDS*****
I am F.U.M.I.N.G, exhausted and upset all at the same time
My so called supportive bf went out last night. I said to him please dont be too late, I am not sleeping very well at the minute and had to do that bastard time line yesterday, I made a few comments which he chose to ignore and off he went ” Wont be late Babe, promise”
I went to bed at 9.30ish brain fog took its final toll and off I went to bed to meditate and try and sort my mind out I got to sleep no problem and woke up with my fur baby Sooty asleep near my head but no bf on the other side. Picked up my phone and text:
“Your a Fucking Nob Head is 2.30am”
3am nob head rolled in absolutely bladdered, usual stupid self couldnt roll a rolly if his life depended on it, starts with his crocodile tears, ” I love you so much baby, your my world baby” Hmmm get to bed now you know im not sleeping.
He went to sleep at 4.30am, me on the other hand on pins no sleep for this sleepless beauty.
His alarm starts going off at 7am. The nob head is snoring away. I gave him a few hard elbows. ” GET UP NO WAY ARE YOU HAVING A DAY OFF, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET WASTED ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!!” I have to lean over to turn his phone off and low and behold whats on his phone?? text messages of another female! Him asking her if she is going the pub. The red mist isnt settling its engulfing like one of those mad clouds cant think of the name of that now.
Just a friend he says, just a friend she phoned me the other day, not seen her for years – why has he not mentioned this before now – choosing to keep the truth to yourself is the same as lying in my eyes, I didnt tell you because my last girlfriend wouldn’t let me have girl mates – well maybe you was fucking sneaky which made her that way. If you want a different result you have to behave in a different way you absolute C*.NT
“ill support you baby, ill support you through this PTSD, ill read up about it I promise you” Yes well your triggering me left right and centre, how many times have I told you about lying to me I CANT STAND LYERS! you know this you complete fucker!!
Either step up or ship out mate as I cant deal with the person who is supposed to be supporting me through this being sneaky and deceitful , lulling me into a false sense of security and BAMB your a fucking C*NT too just like all the other lies and secrets that have been shoved down my throat. quite simply fuck right fucking off. I DONT CARE IF YOU INVITED A GIRL MATE FOR A DRINK WITH YOUR MATES YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING SCUMBAG.
Yet another day im working with tears steaming down my face such a professional office manager I am.
Great this PTSD fucking love it